When she says, “I really like Dave,” rather than responding with, “But he dumped you before!

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” Your daughter will sense if you are really interested in her perspective or not. ” In responding to these kinds of questions, your daughter can only feel defensive and attacked.

The more she senses your interest and your trust, the more openly she will share with you. Questions which may help your daughter think about what she really wants in a relationship, and which will help her open up, sound more like these: “What do you want in a relationship with a boy?

Parents want their children to be able to make good decisions, to choose healthy relationships, to spend time with people who are honest and respectful of them.

It is difficult for parents to see their children in situations that look like they are going to be hurtful.

If you decide to ask her some questions, it is important that they are not “preachy” questions, which translate as admonition or belittling. ” “Which of those things do you get in your relationship with Dave?

Examples of questions to avoid might be: “He dropped you before, aren’t you worried that he is going to drop you again? ” “What are the things you like about going out with him?

There may also be other distractions happening when you are together like TV, homework and the business of everyday life.

You may have a history of conflict which makes one or both of you want to avoid talking.

You are probably both busy with your own schedules.