She likes it, she needs it but she only knows that once she’s having it. If you’re a sexual pursuer, you like to improve things.

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When you think about a Thanksgiving feast, you probably think about snitching crisp turkey skin right off the bird straight out the oven, creamy mashed potatoes dripping with gravy, luscious spicy pumpkin pie mounded with whipped cream, and eating so much you have to loosen the belt.

Pottery Barn catalogs are being pored over as she plans her own table settings. Seemingly no matter what you do, initiation results in the same answer—no. You can’t only concentrate on the turn of your golf swing.

If you know you have fantasies that she would never consent to, prove you know her and say that.

Tell her you respectfully submit the ideas for exploration in fantasy only.

And you’ve probably been shot down a time or two (or hundred).

The best time to suggest something new is not on the car ride home but after she is very aroused.

“He does think of me when he’s away from me.” You get points when you’re not even there. Romance doesn’t mean: I brought you flowers, so I should get sex tonight. Romance creates a healthy romantic backdrop for a woman’s responsiveness. A man’s normal testosterone levels are 300-1,000 ng/d L serum blood.

It’s a tactical, practical thing you can do that adds to her feelings of connection. Parents of teenage girls are afraid of the 1,000 level, and at 300, a guy often seeks a sex therapist for low desire.

Women are often socialized to be the brakes, not the engine, of sexual desire.