Sure, his love songs are beautiful, but does that make up for the fact that he is a jerk in almost ever other area of life? After you read these terrible, annoying, sometimes even racist quotes, you'll want to punch the guy right in his stupid singing face. "MAYER: My two biggest hits are 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' and 'Daughters.' If you think those songs are pandering, then you'll think I'm a douche bag. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself.... MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?

Hold your hands out in the air, smile the biggest smile you’ve ever smiled, and genuinely say, “You sure could use a hug, couldn’t you! ” This is extra awesome if other people are around. These jerks are followers, and they’ll be jerks to anyone they’re “told” to be jerks to.

In my experience, these jerks are much less jerks than they are people who are simply hurting and looking for friends.

Bonus Trick: Next time this person is a jerk to you, do the following.

The douchiest quotes from singer John Mayer (douchebag), from his sex life with Jessica Simpson to his masturbation rituals. ' And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a n***** pass."Playboy interview, 2010 All of a sudden I thought, I can outgay this guy right now.

" -- HBI Member, Gabriela "Guys are obsessed with the anus. " -- Fabulana "Men have called me a man-hater, a feminazi, frigid, a bitch...

but in my mind it always translates as "You don't need me to validate your existence, and that scares me." " -- HBI member, KIM "If you ever need an outfit to match that stick up your ass, give me a call." -- Lenore Bernard, Fashion Consultant (From the HBO Series, Hung) "'re not bleeding, vomiting, or on fire, chill out and stop crying." -- Heartless Bitch Member, Stephanie "Treating the whole world as if it works for you doesn't suggest you're special, it means you're an ass.Get a life." -- -HBI Member, Lola "If a bunch of guys are calling me a Bitch, I know I must be hitting a nerve, if they start calling me a Heartless Bitch, I know I've got them running scared, but the best part is when they call me a Cold, Heartless Bitch (my brother's personal favorite), because they know I am someone they will never be able to subjugate." -- -HBI Member, Dana "In conclusion, I invite the media to all grow a pair.And if you cant, I will lend you mine." -- Amy Poehler as Hilary Clinton on Saturday Night Live "Seriously, just how psychologically crippled do you have to be before shopping for shoes, the socks your husband left in the floor, coloring your hair, and what your neighbors think of you are the biggest things in your whole fucking world?We all know that John Mayer is a giant douche, but he still can't seem to keep his mouth in check (especially in a recent Playboy interview), and eventually someone is going to try and wash it out with a bag of Summer's Eve. Mayer obviously writes songs because he can't form cohesive sentences (we think we're starting to see why/how he dated Jessica Simpson). I've got a Benetton heart and a f**kin' David Duke cock. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. I grabbed him and gave him the dirtiest, tongue-iest kiss I have ever put on anybody—almost as if I hated f*gs. I really think it went on too long..."John Mayer on kissing Perez Hilton after openly admitting he enjoys gay p*********y during/after sex with starlets. "I am the new generation of masturbator, I’ve seen it all.It's not only us, other girls (Taylor Swift, ahem) also view him as the ultimate douche. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick." John Mayer on interracial relationships in an interview with Playboy magazine, 2010. I don’t think my mouth was even touching when I was tongue kissing him, that’s how disgusting this kiss was. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week…" John Mayer on being a chronic masturbator, and considering medical school."Re: using the 'N word' in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word.Well nothing beats the automotive section - they look at you like, "what are you doing here? Everything else is a choice with consequences - including breathing." -- HBI Member, Genie "I once crocheted a pair of fuzzy purple balls and sent them to my friend's ex for Christmas; judging by his whiny complaints and incessant text-messaged Emo song lyrics sent after the fact, he was having trouble finding his own." -- HBI Member, Kristin "Yes, I'm pissed off and most people irritate me.