At 38, I selected maybe as my answer about wanting to start a family. My profile views included very, very few peeks from men between 37 and 47 in New York City.I was the Belle of The Ball for men in the suburbs, though.While I have yet to be able to consider a guy in his twenties, I stopped ignoring the men in their mid-thirties.

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Dating at 40 blog video

Unfortunately, the men on Nerve had other plans for me. It’s not like the attention slowed down over time, either.

It literally came to a halt the moment those digits on my profile went from 39 to 40. For years, I had been fielding letters from single women in their forties bemoaning what it was like to try and meet men.

Forty-somethings have to find someone who not only meets all the 20-something requirements but is not all the things that decades of ex-lovers were.

My list started with: They must not have a fear of intimacy, be a liar, be a cheater, be a drunk, be boring, be broke, be un-therapized, be selfish in bed, have bad breath, hate their job, wear dirty socks to bed -- my list went on for another two pages.

I never felt like I had to go out because it was date night. I know women who refuse to log on to a dating site or send a tweet on Saturday evenings after 8pm because they are terrified people might think they're sadsters sitting by themselves on a Friday night trolling OK Cupid. I also stopped caring about the long-term potential of a certain person and chose to simply enjoy their company.

Once I re-organized my relationship priorities, I redefined my audience.

At the age of 42, owing to two long relationships that tailgated each other, I found myself single for the first time since I was 20-something. In my 20s, I thought dating was hard: One had to find a mate who was attractive, single and not just recently single but single long enough to not still be in love with their ex-lover.

They had to be relatively drug-free, "relative" being the operative word, since 20-somethings are allowed to dabble and still be considered a good catch.

Hello, 40-year-olds actually need to eat something besides pretzels!

As a 40-something babe, I now understand that dating was easy in my 20s.

Normally I wouldn’t consider dating someone that young, but the big four zero was looming and I had decided that I wanted to have a date on my birthday. I went from getting two to three responses for every 10 messages I sent out to maybe one.